Welcome to my new world

It’s been a miserable few months for sports fans, as the Covid 19 restrictions have put a huge dent in our participation and enjoyment of events.

Cycling has escaped the worst of the lock down, as many people have been able to use the 2 km rule to devise their own little training route, keeping within the recommended guidelines and most importantly, keeping themselves and others safe.

I’ve used a local route on a few occasions and explored new roads but being mindful of the strain a potential accident such as a fall would put on our health services, I’ve kept it to the bare minimum. I wouldn’t expect much sympathy should I present myself in A&E under the current situation.

To compensate, I bought what they call a “smart trainer”, which speaks to my computer somehow, I’ve connected my bike to it, signed up to Zwift and my training takes place in the garage.

My family and passing neighbours are asking themselves, “has he finally lost the plot?” as a few faint swear words penetrate the evening and a substantial pool of sweat forms on the floor.

However, there’s a bigger story, because inside that garage, I’ve climbed a virtual Alpe d’Huez, I’ve passed a five time TDF winner on a hill outside London (okay, it’s not confirmed it was Miguel Indurain, but I believe it was, so that’s all that matters). Some of the best riders in the country have given me a “ride on”, which is an online way of saying “well done Ted” as they pass.  I’ve even met Irish heroes Nico Roche and Eddie Dunbar on my travels.

The Irish cycling community seems to have embraced the format and it’s even been mentioned on the national news. The governing body is involved, so it’s all positive and long may it continue.

As for me, I’ve become interested in my FTP, my watts per kilo and stuff that only a sports scientist would understand. I haven’t a clue what it means, but hey, it looks cool and makes me seem like I could be fast. The dogs on the street know I’m not fast, but it’s important to look fast, whether in real life or in this new virtual world.

Yesterday, I did my first ever online race and I’m still trying to work out exactly where I finished, as lots of stuff has to be deciphered to ascertain the exact result. There was an extensive amount of information available, but so far, the biggest talking point is my height, which I had incorrectly entered onto the computer. As far as it was concerned, I’m 3 foot tall.

I’d say Sam Bennetts racing data isn’t as well analysed as mine at the moment.

I’ve met a completely new group of cyclists. Some of them are top professionals, capable of mixing it with anybody in the world. During this lockdown, they are mixing it with a total no hoper and you know what, they are nice lads, willing to help and give you a bit of confidence.

So, as a noob into the world of online cycling, what do I see as the future of it and is it for me?

Will it rival the thrill of cycling the Nire Valley and the achievement as you reach the top? Will it equal the fear as you cling on for dear life descending the hill from Mellary to Newcastle? Will it make up for a Sunday morning spin with the gang and a coffee at “The Bean” when we get back?

Not a hope, cycling is a sport best enjoyed with friends. Some of the greatest problems Ireland has faced have been sorted out by a few of us while out on our bikes. Indeed many stories have gone out the Cork Road and will stay out there. Legal proceedings would surely be initiated if those stories ever came back in.

Will it substitute a cold winter evening in November, as I trudge out that same Cork Road with wind howling through the valley created by the Galtee and Knockmealdown mountains? Will it be more appetising than heading out in the rain on a cold January morning, as I remind myself, this will be worth it when the Wicklow 200 comes around?

You can bet your life it will.

Of course it’s not perfect. The purists will laugh it off as a computer game and my family will laugh “are you cycling around the garage again this evening?”

No, it’s not perfect, but it’s pretty damn close.

For people in lock down and living through these times, please stay safe and my very best wishes to you and your famlies.